The Meal

a low in the field
silence strikes the emptiness
Mu!

Gloucester replies, “I see it feelingly.”
But I don’t know.
Shakespeare! Hand it to me!

I don’t know what to say
I don’t know how to die
I don’t know whom to love
I don’t know when to cry

I don’t know if love is close
I don’t know if love is far
I don’t know if there is distance
or warmth from morning star

a low in the field
I see it feelingly?
Shakespeare, send it to me.

I don’t know if I ask too much
I don’t know if I try the same
I don’t know her trials and pain
I don’t know her ancestral name

I don’t know if I trust myself
I don’t know when I am blind
All I know is I don’t know
But seek, and ye shall find

How to seek? Hand over that script!
My thieving eyes throw darts to peek
And then with pride, I’ll hold my mind
Yet you see how this world goes, you know what I’ll find

Shakespeare, retain your annuity.
I opt for lumped sum.
I want mine now.
I want what’s meant to be.

I know what to say
I know how to die
I know whom to love
I know when to cry

I know if love is close
I know if love is far
I know if there is distance
I bathe in evening star

I know if I ask too much
I know if I try the same
I know her trials and pain
I know her ancestral name

Seek, and ye shall find?
And you think I should mind?
Eat yours mealingly.
I feel for dessert, I want what’s meant to be.

---

Notes:

• Two senses of low: depression & the deep sustained sound characteristic especially of a cow
• Two senses of field: range within which objects are visible from a particular viewpoint & a pasture
• “This is not only practice while sitting, it is like a hammer striking emptiness: before and after, its exquisite peal permeates everywhere.” – Self Receiving and Employing Samadhi
• Mu is a sound & koan
• “I see it feelingly.” – King Lear Act IV, Scene VI

Image credit: Wheat Fields after the Rain, The Plain of Auvers (July 1890), Vincent van Gogh