i’ve never watched Pound Puppies
“Bright Eyes” came from her own message to me
“I guess I’ll always be Bright Eyes – always hopelessly optimistic”
maybe she liked that i had a confused look
as if i was thinking she’d forgotten
Driving
she let him read and respond to my messages
my intimate words to her
stories of my childhood, my children, my medical records
violations of my privacy, yet HIPAA rolls off her tongue
“They can’t subpoena my emails,” she’d say full of hubris
Driving
and here i was, hosting her and her darling child in my home
i felt the sadness, the broken pieces
just stop it! stop!
is it a crime to want to be loved?
i always did my best for YOU, and now?
Driving
i once bought her fairy earrings
she said she loved them …
i said that she could let them whisper, “Love, Strong”
she sent a picture from her bed
his fingers helping display one earlobe
Driving
letting that addict read my messages
violations of my privacy
and here we have years of it
is it a crime to want to be loved?
i was just a game for you two
Driving
some inside joke
blue in the face?
maybe a different hue now.
are you still amazed?
a member for a lifetime?
HERE!
sitting in the moonlight by the river
ripples gleaming, merging, echoing every sense
in the vast emptiness of night
i ask
will i ever be able to
Trust
i am a tender illusion, walking, weeping
i am the universe, continuously creating
the whole storm, immeasurable
this never-again-happening arrangement
of everything that has ever touched me
please, just stop it.
Insight: In this poem, Trust refers both to the act of forming a strong, truthful bond with someone and to the novel Trust by Hernan Diaz.
The last time I saw her, she handed me that book as if it were her confession—that our entire relationship had been nothing more than a hall of mirrors. Just a fun time for her.
In the end, when she finally admitted that he had been there on every one of our vacations, I realized: he was there in Carmel-by-the-Sea, he was there in Big Sur, he was the one who turned his old, red Camaro around in front of her apartment. He was there on our camping trips. He was there when she visited me in Houston. She told him where I live.
Image credit: Dallas skyline featuring the Margaret Hunt Hill Bridge with Lamar-McKinney Bridge in foreground (December 2014).
Primitive Joe 
