rearview

i’d probably just
do what had to be done
i never really speak in terms of what if

What about Donovan? What do you think of Colours?
what do i think of Donovan’s Colours?
Do you think he’s a good poet of love ballads?
no
I’m shattered.
well, you needn’t be

…

and with Dylan i agree
you gave me black, you gave me night
a snake upon a tree

a sliding door, with broken lock
does he enter
as you please

and you pretend
there’s no forest
while you’re crawling up that tree

…

railroad crossings, railroad cars
let’s spell forest
with too many r’s

as we settled into the cabin
the sound of a hand or branch?
across the window screen

Driving, HERE!
a signal in Camp Michigania
i looked into the forest

you are turning your 180
working hard to say
i’m angry

why did you ever involve me
your stomach hurt
just like in Saugatuck

there, i held you and looked into your eyes
but no, i said i didn’t see me
in those forest eyes

why did you ever involve me
your stomach hurt
just like in Saugatuck

i’m struggling
for rest
for rest eyes

you wanted him so much
you sacrificed my life
and i’m trying

trying
every
day

the driver last night
looked in the rearview
and caught me crying

why did you ever involve me
does my stomach now hurt
just like yours in Saugatuck?

…

Yellow is the colour of my true love’s hair
In the mornin’ when we rise
In the mornin’ when we rise
That’s the time, that’s the time
I love the best

---

Insight: The first two stanzas of rearview are drawn directly from Bob Dylan’s 1965 San Francisco press conference (December 3, 1965), often cited for his evasive, ironic, and performative tone. The lowercase lines are Dylan’s verbatim words in response to a journalist’s question about Donovan and his song Colours. (source)

The final stanza of the poem quotes the opening lyrics of Donovan’s Colours (1965), a folk love ballad often associated with idealism and tenderness. Here, I’ve reframed it in the context of personal grief – inviting a reevaluation of sincerity, projection, and the myths we inherit through song.

The title rearview intends both literal and metaphorical backward glancing: a witness to pain in the moment (“the driver last night / looked in the rearview / and caught me crying”) and a deeper reckoning with an emotional landscape now receding into memory.

Image credit: Nederlands: Hertboommolen of Zepposmolen in OLV-Lombeek – Roosdaal (July 2020), Anja Meert.